Interview with friends: 'Society'

Me: "As girls, what do you think are the toughest obstacles to overcome?"

Juile: "Confidence."

Alex: "Yeah, I agree."

Jade: "For all other girls, it could be confidence, but for me, Im really outgoing and Im not self-conscious about myself. Personally, I don't have any obstacles."

Us: "You're stupid."

Julie: "My biggest issues were weight, looks, clothing, basically appearance. People always called me ugly and short and fat. It was intimidating especially in 3rd grade where all the girls had nice clothes and were twigs. They made me feel as if I wasn't expected."

Jade: "Pressure."

Alex: "But I feel pressure comes from everywhere. You need confidence to overcome that."

Me: "But your parents are someone who you should talk to and ask for advice not needing pressure. I think pressure is at its worse when it comes from family rather than society."

Julie: "I get alot of pressure from my parents, they're really pressuring me in school lately because I didn't make it into that school. He's saying that he shouldn't pay all this tuition for another school. I feel like a let him down." 

Me: "Ok new question. Thoughts on sexuality?"

Alex: "My feelings are that if you are gay or lesbian or bi, come out and be proud of it. Don't hide things and deny it, be what you are."

They all agreed.

Me: "But don't you think society isn't gonna welcome who you are?"

Alex: "Well I don't think it is-"

Julie: "It kinda is because in the olden days, it was considered taboo and crazy."

Me: "Yeah like that Don't Ask, Don't tell policy."

Alex: "They should just be who they are, regardless of what people say. If you are, don't try to act like you aren't."

Me: "Ok society has been blamed for everything in this generation. But isn't it odd, when we are society? What do you have to conclude to this?"

Julie: "Im not saying that we are blaming ourselves, but it's the people around us, that change us."

#beautiful

The moonlight caressed her flawless complexion as she smiled, sending chills throughout his entrie body. The cool, summer air was flowing through the air, making her smile at the beauty of his entire self. She examined his still, yet nervous face and chuckled. She couldn't resist him, she longed for him and his love. He couldn't pretend that she was non-existant, she was something he's only seen in his dreams, until now. She wrapped her cardigan tighter as the wind began to grow cooler and smiled at him. She reached her hand over and tapped him lightly.

"Tag, you're it." She said childishly as she began to run away from him. He smiled at the memories of the childhood game and her childishness. He watched as she began to run away from him. He frowned at the thought of her leaving his sight, but he chased her, laughing.

This was all that he needed. Him and her, no one else. No one to tell them no, to tell them they can't, to tell them that they won't.

He finally grabbed her waist from behind, surprising him. He hugged her small frame tightly and smiled as he nuzzled his head into her long, soft hair. He breathed in her scent, the smell of warm vanilla and refreshing lavender as she giggled. While holding her, he accidentally tripped over some sort of stone, lunging them down to the tall grass, together. They laughed at the sudden trip and stared at eachother.
Her beauty was one that couldn't be ignored. His eyes lingered over her moonlight kissed skin, to her big, alluring eyes, and over to her luscious pink lips. She also carefully examined his face. A mature face, that still had his baby charm to it. She looked into his eyes and smiled. She leaned her lips in to meet his.

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Just a short writing session I had :) Inspired by #beautiful. I hope you enjoyed

Asian households vs. White households

***Hello everyone! Im here with my first ever Asian vs. White blog post! Before I start, I'd like to thank my readers for checking out my blog, it means alot to me! Also, I'd like to say that before I start this blog post, I don't mean any disrespect to these two races. Im not white, so if my information is wrong, I apologize. I only base these posts solely on my perception and perspective.***

                 Im Asian, Filipina to be more precise (and to the some people who tell me Filipinos aren't really Asian, go check your map, I'm pretty sure the Philippines is one of the islands of Asia.). I live in all-white community here in the United States, New York. It is hard to keep up with all these Asian customs when I've grown up with non-Asians, but I do manage and my parents are also key to this. One thing in Asia where I think is such a huge difference are the households. Some American Asians families may have already accustomed to the American way, but most are still as traditional as can be.
                 In America, it's really encouraged to be yourself and express what you want. Some Americans could deny this, but it's more welcomed here than it is in Asia. All my best friends-well, all my friends are white and we always go out and hang out with eachother. For them, they can go hang out with ease, for me I have to be lectured for about two hours before I leave the house. This is an exact scenario:

"Hey mom, can I go to the movies with my friends?" I asked.

My mom turned around to look at me. "First clean the house and your room. You think you can just go out like this?! You should tell me before next time! I dont want you to act like a slut in public, I know you, don't be all over the boys like that. That's trash. You're going to act like a slut i know it."

This is probably a general thing also, but the way I get lectured for this is terrible. The movies is only 20 minutes away too. And please, me? Acting slutty? I don't even know how to flirt! But yeah, that's what I have to go through before I can go out.

One things are how they respond to they're parents. Americans, of course like any civilian, are taught with respect. But for them, they are allowed more freedom and, like i said, it's encouraged. They're allowed to talk to their parents like a casual friend and sometimes they're even allowed to talk back. Talking back in the Asian culture is basically signing up for your own death penalty. Asian children are NEVER allowed to say talk back, NEVER. If American children get some sort of discipline, Asian children will get 20x that. Basically, the teachings are 'My word is law' for parents in the Asian culture. Discipline is also a big thing in the Asian culture. Americans might probably get spanked when they're young and as they get older, they resort to less severe punishments. While as, for Asians, it's basically live or die. Our discipline is really severe, comparing to the American culture's. So, whenever I see my friends talk back to their parents, and their parents shrug it off, I cringe sometimes. And eventually they're style rubs off on me, having me always be the one getting into trouble in my family.

Now, I've seen and heard some ethnic jokes about how Asian parents are so strict on their children's education. I'd love to get more into education in the Oriental culture, but i'll save that for another rainy day. But usually I would hear something about Asian parents being overly-strict on their children for getting an A- on their tests or whatever. As though it may seem a little over-exaggerated, I find it very accurate in the Asian culture. Of course, not the child getting an A- on a test, but more of most Asian parents strive for perfection with their children. In the Asian culture, it's all about pride, status, honor, and respect really. It can range from mental to physical. It's not much of the parents faults, they were raised in this way of culture.

To say that the Asian culture is strict is very, very accurate. But of course, I try not to generalize for both the Americans or the Asian culture. I just find that the Western(American) culture is more expressed and free while as the Asian culture is very limited and all about respect. Of course, personally, this doesn't do so well for me. Im exposed to both cultures within the same time period, and both cultures rubbing on me doesn't do so well in my household. Especially since my mother was raised in a strict environment. It's really hard to keep up with both cultures, but hey, I try.


-Shay Lynn

Roles of a friend

(Old post from way back when)

                        This week, I made a big mistake. Not really, a HUGE mistake, but a mistake. It depends on how you see it. I have a best friend who I care alot about. She's a really underrated person, which such a unique personality. She's very 4D (korean terms xD ) But anyways, a few months ago, I was at her basketball game. (Btw, she's a freak on the court! Totally different from when she's off the court!) She's not entirely girly, but she has her moments. Anyways, back to the topic. At her basketball game, the boy's basketball team was also there, because their game was next. She was acting a little strange, so I asked her if she was just nervous for the game. She has pointed at a guy who's number was 69 (yes, 69. tsk tsk) 

"I like him" She whispered to me.

Oh, you should've seen the smile on my face. That was probably the cutest thing I've heard. Because she's so athletic and tall, some boys don't really look at her. But she's tall and skinny with these beautiful blue eyes, and when I saw this guy's face, I was overjoyed. I immediately knew that he was definately her type of guy. It was adorable. Later that day, they had an afterparty, exclusively for the basketball players. I told her to make sure to say a simple hi. The next day, I texted her.

Me: Did you say hi?!

Her: Omg no, I chickened out. I'm such a retard.

I felt bad for little, or tall, (let's call her Elle) Elle. She was really so innocent in this kind of game, but she was willing to make it happen. So, I called up my other best friend to work her magic. And WALA, they started texting. Now, it's been 2 months, and let me say, this guy has made ALOT of mistakes. He was at her championship game, at which she made the winning score, and he didn't congratulate her. He didn't even say hi to the other games she had won. And being me, I was dissapointed and upset. I didn't want to see Elle like this, and it got me angry. I hate seeing her wait on someone, because she deserved someone who would just come clean to her about his feelings. So, this is where I made my mistake. Being me, I texted her, and I asked her how she really felt.

Her: I still like him, but not as much as before. Honestly, I just wanna know if he likes me too or if he doesn't. I dont wanna waste myy time anymore. Idk what I wanna do. I just wish I never saw this kid. I hate liking someone.

I felt like I was gonna cry. I really hated seeing my best friend, the one I've never fought with and the one who's accepted me with everthing go through a pain. And to be honest, the kid used up all my patience on him. So, this is what I said.

Me: Elle, I hate hate hate seeing you like this. I don't wanna see you waste time on him, but it's your life. If you still like him, try to make your moves. But I really do hate seeing you wait on a guy. I dont wanna see you wait and wait for a text that might not even come till next month. He said nothing at the championship gamne to you, but he was flirting with other girls. There are many many guys, Elle. He should do all the waiting and the texting, not you. 

Her: You're completely right. I don't give a fuck about him anymore.

And that's what happened. I felt good about myself, I saved a friend from waiting and waiting. But then, I texted my guy friend, (lets call him Jerry). Jerry is someone I can consult and just have the simplest talks about. He'll judge me, but he does it in a way where it makes me a better person. He told me that what I did was wrong. How do I know if this guys isn't just shy to his feelings and towards Elle? Jerry's experienced something like this, and he was telling me the feelings from a guy's POV. 

Jerry:  It was a best friend instinct that you did, but you shouldn't have changed Elle's mind on things. Trust me, I know what it's like from his point of view. It took me 5 months to ask the girl I like out, and she said no. That's what he's worried about. Do you hear yourself right now? You're making me cringe.

I was sitting there, feeling guilty as ever. Jerry's right, I shouldn't have done that. I couldn've screwed up the guy's future plans. But what I did was childish and stubborn and I accept what I did. But I couldn't really help it, I just hated seeing her wait on someone like that. But thank goodness I talked to Jerry, without him, where would I be in life? Jerry gave me a more open mind. Thanks Jerry. So, this morning I made sure I texted Elle. I told her what Jerry said, and that she should have an open mind too. I told her everything will happen all due in time, so we might never know. Thank goodness she is also keeping an open mind. 

So, lesson learned, try not to screw up your best friend's relationships. Always have an open mindset on things, and try to see things from both Point of views. Although your daily best friend instinct will kick in, try seeing things from both sides, and never judge to easily. A best friend should always support their friend, but also put in their own input. But make sure to really thinkg about that input and how you word it. Of course, always try to protect your best friend, but also try to protect what could be in the future. Have you ever encountered something like this? Where you almost screwed up a friend's relationship? Or something where your friend almost screw up your relationship? Got any more advice to tell people who want to help their best friend and their love lives?

I have a best friend who self-harms herself and it's really upsetting. It's sad to see such a beautiful person want to damage herself. She's had a hard past and she tries so hard to move on from her mistakes. She tends to be a fool in love too. Always falling in and out of love. Until that one time she met someone who really changed her, and I saw it happen. I was happy for her, to find someone who can truly care for her, she was happy. And then, one day, it just ended. No explanations, he just left. How can he do that to her? How can a person just trip and fall in love with someone, and then suddenly get back on their feet and act like nothing happened? I was angry, being her best friend, I wanted answers for her. Why should she, someone who's trying to escape her mistakes, be suddenly treated like this? She has been trying to move on, but she can't get away from her being with him and it pains me to see this. Also, that guy has been doing every single thing to hurt her. And today, he's done his worst, in my opinion. She was a mess.

When I was younger, I used to be teased and bullied for being Asian in an all-white community and school. I cried and cried and cried and no one really could understand where I was coming from. As I grew older, I learned how to confront my obstacles and now I've learned to become strong. Of course, I still cry, but I've learned not to run away. To never give up. Now, from me to you, I want you to do the same. I want you to keep on fighting. I want you to always be a fighter and never ever run away from your problems. Why? Because if you run away, it'll only chase you. Don't let it chase you, let yourself stand there, and confront everything. Whether it be a person, or a bully, or a situation; don't try to run away. Stand your ground and fight back. 

Im telling this to everyone who is hurting right now. Im telling this to my friend and to you and to the world. Don't sit down and cry over it, stand up and walk over to it and scream at its face. Scream that you're not gonna back down and sit there. And what if they keep doing what they're doing? Then keep fighting back. Keep on pushing forward and never ever let yourself go. Don't give up, giving up is for people who are weak. Be strong. Be an independent person who doesn't need anyone but themselves. Fight back!


-Shay Lynn 

I want to be Independent!

                

 Lately, my parents have been on my case about my future and what career I should be getting into, and let me tell you, it's like hell talk. Im sure many people have different thoughts of what they want as to what they're parents want, and so do I. It's weird. My dad really wants me to work under the government while my mother wants me to be practical and work in the medical field. While both seem pretty practical and secure that will have me live a comfortable and stable life, that's just not what I want. At all. In fact, it's the total opposite of what I want. Im not sure if it's a stage that most teens go through, or if this is really what I want. 
                 I remember in history class watching The Diary of Anne Frank and hearing Anne say or write something about how she doesn't want to live a simple life. She doesn't want to just be like her mother who had a simple life and family and I can relate to that totally. I don't want to be just any normal person, I don't want to live a simple or comfortable life. I wanna live a life or risks, a life of being on my own and being independent. Making my own new beginnings and taking risks, that's what I want in my life. Now, we come to the question of what DO I want to be when I grow up? Well, I do have dreams of living a totally different life than others, but I try to keep that to myself because it sounds pretty stupid, haha. But I know I wanna write, and I wanna travel. I just don't wanna live under any rules. I just wanna be by myself, free to do anything I want. It is hard to listen to what your parents want for you in the future and in your mind thinking the total opposite. It also sort of upsets me. Although I am the rebellious one, I do feel bad that in my mind I already know that I might let down my parents. But I'll show them that I will not let them down.
         
 Traveling has always been in my blood. My parents have always taken my siblings and I across the globe ever since I was young, but I want to travel by myself too. I want to move out of the States, and make it on my own. I want to challenge myself to new adventures and new openings. I also want to continue my writing. I wanna go across the globe and hear people's stories and use that to make new ones. I wanna live a life where I dont need anyone's nagging about how much of a smart ass I am or how annoying I am. I mean, life's about taking risks, so why would you try to play it safe? Also, the quote "If you choose a work you love, it'll never be working" always comes to my mind. I dont wanna stay in some boring ass chair and write up peoples problems or something. I wanna explore and smile. Although it sounds sort of...un-filial of me to want to pick up and leave, I can't help it. I grew out of this place. Im tired of this, I want to go out and explore. But I can't help also having a practical mind. I mean, how could writing support myself? It could if I play my right cards. It's a competitive world, but you know what? Im willing to go out there and take my chances. Im willing to do what I want. Im not gonna wait for fate or for destiny to come knocking at my door. Im gonna leave my door, and make destiny and fate happen. 

As I write this, Im listening to "I dont need a man" by Miss A, a kpop girl group. The translations are, "Im not gonna live under my parent's money." and "I don't need a man's money" or something to that effect. It's basically saying how the girls want to be independent and they don't need a man or they're parents money to live with. That's exactly what I want. To be an independent lady.

-Shay Lynn

Boys?

Oh, boys. Boys boys, boys boys boys. Boys will always be boys. Some will be attractive, while others...well, uhm, are not as attractive. As a pubescent girl, and with these raging hormones  boys have been the number one thing on my mind lately. Im sure also to other girls who are at the stage of those raging hormones  Anyways, back to boys. When we were younger, we watched movies about how the underrated girl would always have a happy ending and end up dating the hottie of the school......WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER. What is this?!?! Now it seems, that every single boys has two things on their mind: Ass and Tits. Seriously. NOW, im not completely positive about how the boys in your class are, but im pretty sure a good amount only thinks that. I always wonder, "Do boys fanticize about loving relationships like I do?". The answer is a 50/50 kind of thing, depending on that person. But, I seriously do wonder, Is there a boy like that? 

Now we females ask, what is that? That thing that we're looking for in a guy? It's something more than just looks and it's something less than just charisma. Wait, I know the answer. That is someone like our precious celebrity crush(bias). Im not sure about all girls because im not a generalizing kind of person, but I know that a good 85% of girls at the age of puberty are looking for someone that is something like our bias. Well, it makes sense though. What got you attracted to your bias, is probably going to get you attracted to people who have that quality. But to all girls who think that they are forever lonely and will never find someone like their bias, don't worry, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Unlike most girls where I live, I am one picky chooser. My friends know that I have a list with all the qualities my future boyfriend must have, and they constantly make fun of me because of that, saying that I will end up dieing alone with a bunch of cats. But honestly, I think it's good Im picky.( One thing my mama has always told me was to ALWAYS play hard to get, then you would know if that person truly loves you if they are willing to still seek you out. ) No, but really, I have a few friends that any guy they see that is flirty, they will jump on. But, I don't want a relationship like that. I want a boy who can really carry out emotions in a relationship well, other than just sex and shit. So, my advice to girls, is to always play hard to get and never ever ever be easy, unlike my friend. Always know who you are and don't let a guy just get to you easily. Make up a list in your mind of what you want, so you don't easily fall for someone that cannot give you a real relationship. Of course, we all get desperate and we all just want a relationship badly, but good things come to those who wait. So girls, dont feel alone out there because your friends have relationships and you don't. Just know that one day, you'll have a relationship even better, and you'll be even more happier.

-Shay Lynn